This weekend was a whirlwind of fun, creativity, art, friends, food, shopping, and discovery. I spent alot of time thinking and reflecting about what it is I do, trying to get my Spark back and at the same time questioning if I am even in the right place at all. This year has been particularly difficult for me and incredibly rewarding all at the same time. I feel like I have had the biggest heartaches but at the same time, needed to shed the skin of people who were not good for me, needed to go through the bad to appreciate the good that much more. And on the other hand, so many new opportunities have come my way, respect from people I admire, new relationships that are so inspiring, and building other friendships stronger than they have even been before.
I found myself not being able to answer a question I often ask others when they have come to me for advice about what they want to do as a job in the scrapbooking industry: what do you enjoy? I now understand things I could never fathom in the past:
- being too busy to answer emails
- too busy to pick up the phone
- too busy to enjoy the process
- too busy to sleep well
- too busy to read a book
- too busy to exercise
- too busy to create unless I had a deadline
- too busy to even try out for new design teams
- too busy to keep track of anything
- and too busy to live life
I am always worried about letting people down, worried I will miss out on something wonderful if I say "no", worried about all the wrong things and wrong people.